Wow what a week it has been, from saying goodbye to a friend going to travel the world, to another friend loosing her dog to a diabetic battle, then to my best friends baby finally arriving. I've cried and I've laughed, I've hugged in joy and I've hugged in sympathy. I am soooo tired, and my face looks like I'm the one that has given birth, but this week has made me look at all the most beautiful things about life.
About 2/3rds way through my pregnancy, my best friend Tuesday, gave me the news that she also was expecting, I was over joyed that with only months in between baby's we can take this journey together.
These past 6 months have seemed to drag waiting for her little one to make an appearance, I'm too excited and my little Jax desperately needs a friend!
After the midwife started things moving on the Tuesday, by Thursday she was well into active labour. I arrived at her house to give some kind of (just been through it) motherly support, I realised she needed to be thinking about making that awful car journey to the hospital. Every contraction I held her hand. rubbed her back or just tried to crack some jokes before the pain got that constant and unbearable that we would be getting shouted at!
From 4cm to 7cm we gave her words of comfort each contraction, passed the gas and air, and just simply tried to keep her going, she was doing great. From 7cm onwards was when the mood changed we all realised shit was about to get real and this baby was close to making his grand entrance. As someone's birthing partner this is where you are mentally tested and it's not for the weak hearted. As Tuesday struggled on through, no words could comfort her and there is nothing you can do to help, personally I found this one of the most difficult things I've done to stand by utterly helpless while somebody you love to pieces is in horrific pain. Each contraction her body tensed, it shook and she screamed in complete agony. I wished I could of shared the pain just to make it easier for her.
As soon as she started holding the top of her bottom I knew it wouldn't be long to go now, this seems to be a crucial piece of information for the midwife, that any minute mum is going to start pushing!
Once the midwife could feel baby's head very low down, it was time for the last hurdle, I felt so overwhelmed with emotions, I had to turn away and control my self, after all it wasn't me in pain!
As the head started to crown with each push I started pacing the floor. I wanted to hold a leg and shout push like they do on the TV just to feel helpful.
Seeing the head emerge from what seems like a magic trick was truly magnificent. The things our body's can do to create another life is crazy, I think god must of had too much wine the day he sketched out childbirth! Once the head is out I looked her in the eye and whispered I can see him, his head his out, any moment and you will see your baby. Within seconds he was out and being layed on his mummy's chest. The transformation of emotions in a mothers face goes from pain, to exhaustion, to relief, to love to amazement, to even more love in 0.5 seconds it's overwhelming to watch. We were all hugging and crying, kissing and laughing, we weren't too far away from popping open the champayne but we settled for a mug of tea instead, and kept our excitement down in consideration for a mother and baby that had been on a tiring journey.
Seeing somebody give birth and giving birth your self are total opposites, even though the pain in labour is one that's indescribable, making you feel like you could quite be getting ready to follow the angel and walk into the bright light! I did think enough times during, that maybe, just maybe watching somebody else do it is worse than doing it your self. I truely and utterly loved the whole experience and it's certainly one I will never forget ever, to share such an intimate moment with a friend is beautiful.
I adore this baby even more than I thought I possible could, the feeling that I was there to help guiding him into this world and I will continue to help guide him through life.
If you have chance and are lucky enough to share somebody's special moment and be a birthing partner then do, it's amazing and makes you realise what life is really about.
Big love to my best friend Tuesday and congratulations, you will be great just like you was in labour.
